This pic in particular screams, 'I just did a fatty.'
Once again, is it just me?
Hungry Eyes
Lindsay not only looks hungry lately, but she appears to be sporting 'I'm geekin' eyes.
This pic in particular screams, 'I just did a fatty.'
Once again, is it just me?
This pic in particular screams, 'I just did a fatty.'
Once again, is it just me?
Fan Beaten at Snoop Dogg Concert by Entourage
And I mean he got BEAT!
You probably have to register to see the video. So here, I made it easy for ya. Enter the following information to log in.
Email: TheSmack@mailinator.com
Password: spicypants
Click for Video
You probably have to register to see the video. So here, I made it easy for ya. Enter the following information to log in.
Email: TheSmack@mailinator.com
Password: spicypants
Click for Video
Paris & Paris to Wed
Yeah, we'll believe it when we see it!
Paris Hilton says that this is the first time in her life that she won't have to worry about her man wanting her for her money. (I thought they wanted her for the loose kooch..)
Paris Hilton says that this is the first time in her life that she won't have to worry about her man wanting her for her money. (I thought they wanted her for the loose kooch..)
Lindsay's Hungry Belly
Not looking so good, kid.
Somebody get that girl into rehab. LL's a far cry from her usual self. Is she really fucked up on coke as people are saying? Her body sure looks like it, and lately she has been looking pretty spaced out.
(LEFT ) Lindsay 2005 - (RIGHT) Lindsay 2004
Somebody get that girl into rehab. LL's a far cry from her usual self. Is she really fucked up on coke as people are saying? Her body sure looks like it, and lately she has been looking pretty spaced out.
(LEFT ) Lindsay 2005 - (RIGHT) Lindsay 2004
Paris Shows Us Her Nipple Again
Nothing you haven't seen already.
And those size 11 feet with those finger-like toes...
And those size 11 feet with those finger-like toes...
Teenage Angelina Jolie
Angelina has always been a bombshell.
AJ in her teens.
And to those who think she has had her lips inflated...it just ain't true.
AJ in her teens.
And to those who think she has had her lips inflated...it just ain't true.
Burt Reynolds is a Dick.
If you didn't think so before, you will now.
Burt needs a good SMACK!
(Watch the video)
Burt needs a good SMACK!
(Watch the video)
The Hiltons
So here is Mr. & Mrs. Hilton with their lovely daughter, Paris.
No wonder Paris is a whore. Look at her Mom!
Mrs. H has the most swollen, hard looking funbags I have ever laid eyes on. They go up to her fucking neck! Maybe having your ass surgically sewn to your chest is the latest thing. What do I know? And her legs must be big lumps because she has those Hooters 'hides any flaw' metallic fucking spacestar industrial strength superhose on. But not a wrinkle on that face.
Mr. Hilton, on the other hand, is enjoying a fine Cuban, which he so unknowingly holds like it's his cock. (Or is he showing us how big his dick is with his fingers?) His tie drapes nicely over his cock and points to his sack.
Gorgeous family= gorgeous daughter!
No wonder Paris is a whore. Look at her Mom!
Mrs. H has the most swollen, hard looking funbags I have ever laid eyes on. They go up to her fucking neck! Maybe having your ass surgically sewn to your chest is the latest thing. What do I know? And her legs must be big lumps because she has those Hooters 'hides any flaw' metallic fucking spacestar industrial strength superhose on. But not a wrinkle on that face.
Mr. Hilton, on the other hand, is enjoying a fine Cuban, which he so unknowingly holds like it's his cock. (Or is he showing us how big his dick is with his fingers?) His tie drapes nicely over his cock and points to his sack.
Gorgeous family= gorgeous daughter!
Tom Cruise, Babbling Idiot
No I didn't watch Oprah yesterday.
I saw enough of Tom bouncing around on the couch & Oprah's lap to know that I couldn't possibly sit through an hour of that shit. Tom was hopping around the Oprah show like a freaking caged babboon with his ass on fire. Is he grossing anyone else out?
I saw enough of Tom bouncing around on the couch & Oprah's lap to know that I couldn't possibly sit through an hour of that shit. Tom was hopping around the Oprah show like a freaking caged babboon with his ass on fire. Is he grossing anyone else out?
Spicy Pants Has Left the Building!
Once again Spicy Pants is hot tailing it out of town.
So I apologize ahead of time for no SMACK talk this weekend. I'll be back talking shit by Monday. Until then if I miss anything, email me and let me know. Love hearing from you crazy bastards! Birds of a feather...
Britney sends her regrets.
So I apologize ahead of time for no SMACK talk this weekend. I'll be back talking shit by Monday. Until then if I miss anything, email me and let me know. Love hearing from you crazy bastards! Birds of a feather...
Britney sends her regrets.
Tori Spellling Does Usher
...or so she wished!
I'm a little late on this one, but little Ms. Leno-jaw partied it up during the Kentucky Derby parties at the track. She got completely fuckered up (true to form) and proceeded to do a lapdance for Usher while he sat at a table. Her husband in the meantime, had to sit & watch as he was completely disgraced by his juicer-tramp of a wife.
Tara Reid ain't got shit on Tori.
And if that was not enough, Tori even simulated giving Usher a knob job...right SMACK in front of everyone. There was no shame here, folks. At least not on her behalf. Her poor husband had to have fucking freaked afterwards. Sometime during that same party Tori also lost a huge rock of a diamond earring. Serves the twat right!
I'm a little late on this one, but little Ms. Leno-jaw partied it up during the Kentucky Derby parties at the track. She got completely fuckered up (true to form) and proceeded to do a lapdance for Usher while he sat at a table. Her husband in the meantime, had to sit & watch as he was completely disgraced by his juicer-tramp of a wife.
Tara Reid ain't got shit on Tori.
And if that was not enough, Tori even simulated giving Usher a knob job...right SMACK in front of everyone. There was no shame here, folks. At least not on her behalf. Her poor husband had to have fucking freaked afterwards. Sometime during that same party Tori also lost a huge rock of a diamond earring. Serves the twat right!
Natalie Portman Arrives at Cannes Premiere with a Shaved Head
Natalie Portman shocked everyone at the Cannes premiere of 'Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith' yesterday.
She showed up without any hair. Amazing how she looks just as beautiful without it. (and Lindsay thinks it's a big deal that she dyed her hair blonde..ha!)
She showed up without any hair. Amazing how she looks just as beautiful without it. (and Lindsay thinks it's a big deal that she dyed her hair blonde..ha!)
Paris Refuses to Read Own Menu
Pam Anderson says that Paris Hilton refuses to read her own menus and demands that they be read to her by restaurant staff.
Recently Pam & Paris went out for a bite and Paris threw a fit, yelling for someone to read her menu to her. Paris says it is because she doesn't like to read.
Talk about a fucking lazy high-maintenence bitch! Fucking wah!
Recently Pam & Paris went out for a bite and Paris threw a fit, yelling for someone to read her menu to her. Paris says it is because she doesn't like to read.
Talk about a fucking lazy high-maintenence bitch! Fucking wah!
Now Hiring: Stylist for Lindsay Lohan!
It looks as though Lindsay cannot dress herself as of late.
Her dress looks awful with her skin color and hair, and the shoes?! Lovely dyed blue satin pumps from your Junior Prom. Lindsay is so thin now she has absolutely no muscle tone on her arms, and her breasts (which were HUGE last year) have almost completely disappeared.
Lindsay in her new favorite 'Mary Kate' boots.
Her dress looks awful with her skin color and hair, and the shoes?! Lovely dyed blue satin pumps from your Junior Prom. Lindsay is so thin now she has absolutely no muscle tone on her arms, and her breasts (which were HUGE last year) have almost completely disappeared.
Lindsay in her new favorite 'Mary Kate' boots.
Tara Reid & Mystery Man
And I thought Tara was dating Tommy Lee.
That was sooo last week! Here is Tara hanging with some hairy dude in Los Angeles. The two went shopping for sunglasses.
Tara, honey PUHLEEZE get those implants taken out!
They look so horrible!
That was sooo last week! Here is Tara hanging with some hairy dude in Los Angeles. The two went shopping for sunglasses.
Tara, honey PUHLEEZE get those implants taken out!
They look so horrible!
The Smack Contributor Contest Winner, La Cabrita, Smacks Kevin Federline!
One night after too many Tater Tots, I slipped into a food coma and drifted off to sleep. Here was my nightmare... a blind date with Kevin Federline.
This one is a chafe of the tallest order.
Not unlike having Hot Shot weed killer poured on a sandpapered open wound. For some reason I have agreed to go on a blind date with the Prince of Fresno, Kevin Federline Spears. Skeezy new gangsta-talking husband of the heinous Britney Spears.
Ewwwwww.
He fits in with her cain't wouldn't Louisiana kin to be sure. But what is he doing here with me? At the Ivy? What is wrong with this person? He is so nasty. Does he bathe? Not likely considering his wife's sporadic/non-existent ablutions. He's oily. He wears hats that say "Rock Out With Your Cock Out."
Ewwwwww again.
What the Hell am I doing out with him? Los Angeles, California, The Ivy on Robertson.
He's too drunk to drive so he rolls up to the restaurant in a Hummer driven by one of the wife's knuckle-dragging Cro-Magnon Man bodyguards. He is wearing a shiny white nylon prison-style do-rag with a stained t-shirt and his pants belted around his knees. He tosses his lit cigarette into the vibrant, beautiful periwinkle hydrangea bushes outside The Ivy.
He snorts, clears his throat, and spits an enormous greenish-yellow land oyster in the general direction of the bushes and misses. Oops, dude. Big loogey on the sidewalk. Star Magazine captures this on film from their photographic bivouac across Robertson Drive.
He stumbles up the five stairs to the patio and weaves his way to my table. He crashes into his chair and says, "Yo yo yo. What up, beyotch? Nice rack. We beat feet and git to Chili's. Dat place da bomb. Be one in the Valley. Later I give ya a little sumpinsumpin."
Eeek.
Before the hostess reaches our choice celeb-sectiontable to welcome the once and future king of the trailer park, I glance sideways and plot my escape. I make an intuitive decision, not unlike the woman who doesn't get on the elevator with a strange man. It's survival.
There will be no grilled, chopped vegetable and prawn salad today. No kalamata olive bread. No delicate fruit tart with fairy-dusting of powdered sugar. I shudder, reach into my purse, grab a twenty to pay for my diet Coke and toss it on the table. I sprint like Flo-Jo from the patio, hurdle the balcony and stairs, pause for a moment to bend over the hydrangea, and then head toward the parking garage.
I swallow repeatedly and wipe my eyes and nose because I have just thrown up.
I awake in a cold sweat with my heart racing and my ears ringing.
There, there, it's over now. It was a nightmare, it wasn't real.
***********************************************
Special thanks to La Cabrita! The Smack Contributor Contest Winner!
Please visit La Cabrita's kickass blog at:
LA CABRITA SUSANITA
Thanks to everyone who contributed! All entries were great!
This one is a chafe of the tallest order.
Not unlike having Hot Shot weed killer poured on a sandpapered open wound. For some reason I have agreed to go on a blind date with the Prince of Fresno, Kevin Federline Spears. Skeezy new gangsta-talking husband of the heinous Britney Spears.
Ewwwwww.
He fits in with her cain't wouldn't Louisiana kin to be sure. But what is he doing here with me? At the Ivy? What is wrong with this person? He is so nasty. Does he bathe? Not likely considering his wife's sporadic/non-existent ablutions. He's oily. He wears hats that say "Rock Out With Your Cock Out."
Ewwwwww again.
What the Hell am I doing out with him? Los Angeles, California, The Ivy on Robertson.
He's too drunk to drive so he rolls up to the restaurant in a Hummer driven by one of the wife's knuckle-dragging Cro-Magnon Man bodyguards. He is wearing a shiny white nylon prison-style do-rag with a stained t-shirt and his pants belted around his knees. He tosses his lit cigarette into the vibrant, beautiful periwinkle hydrangea bushes outside The Ivy.
He snorts, clears his throat, and spits an enormous greenish-yellow land oyster in the general direction of the bushes and misses. Oops, dude. Big loogey on the sidewalk. Star Magazine captures this on film from their photographic bivouac across Robertson Drive.
He stumbles up the five stairs to the patio and weaves his way to my table. He crashes into his chair and says, "Yo yo yo. What up, beyotch? Nice rack. We beat feet and git to Chili's. Dat place da bomb. Be one in the Valley. Later I give ya a little sumpinsumpin."
Eeek.
Before the hostess reaches our choice celeb-sectiontable to welcome the once and future king of the trailer park, I glance sideways and plot my escape. I make an intuitive decision, not unlike the woman who doesn't get on the elevator with a strange man. It's survival.
There will be no grilled, chopped vegetable and prawn salad today. No kalamata olive bread. No delicate fruit tart with fairy-dusting of powdered sugar. I shudder, reach into my purse, grab a twenty to pay for my diet Coke and toss it on the table. I sprint like Flo-Jo from the patio, hurdle the balcony and stairs, pause for a moment to bend over the hydrangea, and then head toward the parking garage.
I swallow repeatedly and wipe my eyes and nose because I have just thrown up.
I awake in a cold sweat with my heart racing and my ears ringing.
There, there, it's over now. It was a nightmare, it wasn't real.
***********************************************
Special thanks to La Cabrita! The Smack Contributor Contest Winner!
Please visit La Cabrita's kickass blog at:
LA CABRITA SUSANITA
Thanks to everyone who contributed! All entries were great!
Last Chance to enter the Smack Contributor Contest!
Today is the last day to get your 'Smack Rant' entry in to Spicy Pants. Thanks to all the people who have sent in their celebrity rants so far. There are some great ones! If your entry is chosen The Smack will publish your entry, showcase your blog and give you much props. Entries can be as short or as long as you like, just be original! (More Details..)
Saturday Night Live's Tina Fey, a Late Bloomer
SNL's hottie 'Weekend Update' co-anchor didn't always used to be so hot.
Tina Fey in highschool.
The sharply coy SNL babe is hot, why? Because she has that librarian behind-closed-doors mystique about her and can hold her own in a barfight, that's why. But this nerds delight of a fox wasn't always so hip and coveted...as you can see!
Tina Fey in highschool.
The sharply coy SNL babe is hot, why? Because she has that librarian behind-closed-doors mystique about her and can hold her own in a barfight, that's why. But this nerds delight of a fox wasn't always so hip and coveted...as you can see!
Jenny McCarthy Still Got It!
This former 'Singled Out' hostess still looks fab!
Jenny during a recent photoshoot.
Yeah, the big hair might not be complimentary, but you cannot deny, that even after having a baby Ms. McCarthy is looking quite delish!
Jenny during a recent photoshoot.
Yeah, the big hair might not be complimentary, but you cannot deny, that even after having a baby Ms. McCarthy is looking quite delish!
Keep 'Em Coming!
Thanks for all of the entries so far!
You have until Friday to get YOURS in!
* We'll be back Smackin' your ass tomorrow!
You have until Friday to get YOURS in!
* We'll be back Smackin' your ass tomorrow!
The Smack 'Guest Contributor' Contest
Feeling Snarky?Celebrity Smack wants YOU to send in a rant about a celebrity of your choice. Make it good! Be creative in your entry. There pretty much aren't any rules, just don't be a complete fucking idiot. The chosen entry will be published here on The Smack this upcoming weekend. Make sure and include your name & blog so we can give you props (and HITS!)
Start Smackin'
>>>Email Your Entry to SpicyPants!
All entries become property of CelebritySmack! Mwuahaha!
Britney's Sportin a Bigger Bod
She is no doubt showing these days.
Torpedo Titties
And damn, her cans are HUGE...and oh so cone-like!
Torpedo Titties
And damn, her cans are HUGE...and oh so cone-like!
One of the Most Rockin' Performances Ever on SNL
System of a Down absolutely rocked the house on this week's Saturday Night Live.
If you didn't see it you missed out!
If you didn't see it you missed out!
Eva, Pt. II
Thank goodness we found out that Eva Herzigova isn't as bad as we thought.
(Thank you StrwbryBlondeAngel!) The pics had been photochopped. Apparently Eva's two feet are both on the ground, not one in the grave like we had feared. But sadly, we do think she still looks like shit.
(Thank you StrwbryBlondeAngel!) The pics had been photochopped. Apparently Eva's two feet are both on the ground, not one in the grave like we had feared. But sadly, we do think she still looks like shit.
Eva Herzigova, Former 'Guess Girl'
Now Guess? what disorder she has.
(Above) Eva in her prime.
Damn, what a waste. Another fine ass chick detroyed by self esteem issues/society/vanity. I take back everything I said about Nicole Richie being too thin!
(Above) Eva in her prime.
Damn, what a waste. Another fine ass chick detroyed by self esteem issues/society/vanity. I take back everything I said about Nicole Richie being too thin!
Kate Holmes, Virgin with a Chafed Mouth
So Kate is supposedly a virgin, eh?
This little pure as the driven snow celeb has been up to something. As you know, her and Tom Cruise are dating and they just returned from a romantic little rendezvous together. The hysterical part of all this is that Kate was photographed a couple days ago with serious fucking stubble rash all over her mouth and lips. How attractive.
It resembles something highly contagious. It must've been a hell of a blue ball session for ol' Tommy. What a lucky guy. She has him by the nuts!
This little pure as the driven snow celeb has been up to something. As you know, her and Tom Cruise are dating and they just returned from a romantic little rendezvous together. The hysterical part of all this is that Kate was photographed a couple days ago with serious fucking stubble rash all over her mouth and lips. How attractive.
It resembles something highly contagious. It must've been a hell of a blue ball session for ol' Tommy. What a lucky guy. She has him by the nuts!
Tara Reid Still Partying Her Ass Off
Have no fear...our favorite partygirl lush is still at it.
Here she is (looking good & pickled) leaving a club in Hollywood last week.
Here she is (looking good & pickled) leaving a club in Hollywood last week.
Nicole Richie, the New Scarecrow on the Block- Pt II
We are once again in awe at Nicole's drastic weight loss.
Someone get that girl a high calorie weight gainer...FAST!
Someone get that girl a high calorie weight gainer...FAST!
Paris in Wax
Paris Hilton has a new wax twin.
And can you believe it...somehow the maker managed to make it even skankier looking than the real thing!
Impossible? Apparently not!
And can you believe it...somehow the maker managed to make it even skankier looking than the real thing!
Impossible? Apparently not!
The Morphing of Lindsay
Not only has Lindsay changed her hair color, she looks as though she has changed her face.
Lindsay, her new honey blonde hair, & inflated kisser
The rumormill is saying that she may have had her lips done. They indeed appear to be quite a lot fuller than normal...
Lindsay's lips, 2004
Lindsay, her new honey blonde hair, & inflated kisser
The rumormill is saying that she may have had her lips done. They indeed appear to be quite a lot fuller than normal...
Lindsay's lips, 2004
Janice Dickinson Joins the Nipplegate Club
Janice is one vain bitch to start with.
So when she recently attended an awards show for the hot young Hollywood crowd, she probably felt like she needed to upstage the younger generation by whipping out her attentive, cold as ice witch tit.
Janice jumps on the Nipplegate Express. All aboard!
'Accidental tittie flashing' pretty much seems to work whenever an attention whore needs her fixin' of the limelight. But then there is Paris, the dirtiest of dirty, who will go as far as to flash some snatch if someone already used the tittie flash trick that night...
Paris' smelly hooch.
That same night was Tara Reid's nipple incident. No one was paying attention to Paris so she wedged her thong in between the lips of her bald camel toe and then lifted her skirt. Nasty smelly ho!
So when she recently attended an awards show for the hot young Hollywood crowd, she probably felt like she needed to upstage the younger generation by whipping out her attentive, cold as ice witch tit.
Janice jumps on the Nipplegate Express. All aboard!
'Accidental tittie flashing' pretty much seems to work whenever an attention whore needs her fixin' of the limelight. But then there is Paris, the dirtiest of dirty, who will go as far as to flash some snatch if someone already used the tittie flash trick that night...
Paris' smelly hooch.
That same night was Tara Reid's nipple incident. No one was paying attention to Paris so she wedged her thong in between the lips of her bald camel toe and then lifted her skirt. Nasty smelly ho!
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