(I think this is a creative promo for a musical about Zombies, but hey, I'll bite. No pun intended.. Anyhow, here it is..)
Fast on the heels of reports that Brett "Shouldn't I Be Making Movies or Something?" Rattner planted a story about his own putative sexual excesses involving Lindsay Lohan and some Euro-Babe comes an equally credible tale of Miss Lohan going mano-a-mano against a Zombie chick over yet another movie director.
Playing the role of Brett "Do You Think I'm Wasting The Best Years of My Life Chasing Tail?" Rattner this time around is acclaimed Austin, TX-based indie director John McLean—whose upcoming original movie musical featuring singing, dancing Zombies is called Z: A ZOMBIE MUSICAL.
Sources say Lindsay Lohan somehow slipped the grasp of Tinseltown paparazzi on Monday evening and made her way to the El Dorado II trailer park on the outskirts of Austin. Apparently John McLean gave Lohan a key to his graffiti-covered, single-wide trailer, although at least once source maintains, "…it's not so much a key as a stolen credit card what you can use to, like, jimmy open the door and all". Once inside the trailer, Lohan discovered her latest intended paramour in the Living Undead clutches of one Faith Immaculada, who goes by "Zombie Girl" on account of being an actual Zombified former Human. A Zombie-Human catfight ensued, with one source saying Lindsay Lohan ripped off Zombie Girl's arm and started beating her over the head with it, while another claimed, "…all Lohan did was tear off a zombified pinkie finger…and she couldn't do much damage with that, lemme tell ya".
Meanwhile, the Zombie and Human denizens of the mixed trailer park surrounded them and shouted, "Fight! Fight!" , while at least one enterprising Zombie made the rounds of the captive audience selling Fried Agent Brains from a cart.
For her part, Zombie Girl scored points by continually pulling up Lindsay Lohan's Puma t-shirt to "expose her breasts, which caused Lohan to pause and wave while the crowd ogled and applauded her, allowing Zombie Girl to get some wild punches in. Another source noted, "Lindsay Lohan finally threatened to have Zombie Girl interred in the nearest cemetery and then she done drove away in an old pick-\'em-up truck while shooting us all the middle finger. Zombie Girl, on whose life the musical Z is said to be based, was quoted as saying, You mess with me, you mess with the whole Living Undead community! We're gonna march on Hollywood by the thousands, just you wait! Curiously, Zombie Girl's MySpace profile (www.myspace.com/zombiegirlusa) as yet makes no mention of the encounter, although a suspicious denial of the Zombie-Human love triangle was posted on Mr. McLean's site, www.azombiemusical.com, and then hastily retracted.